Who Am I Anyways?

I read a blog the other day by my amazing friend Abby and it made me think about something-- who am I at the center of me?

What brought this up was a verse from Romans that says "love from the center of who you are" (Romans 12:9 in the Message).

But who am I at the center of me anyways? I mean, I could be identified by countless things.
I'd like to say my identity is, first and foremost, in Christ. I am a daughter of God, an heir of His kingdom. His child, His beloved, His servant. His workmanship.

And these are all very true.

But how I've been acting lately, or rather the thought patterns I've allowed myself to follow lately, have not been in accordance with this identity. Here's the truth: I've been thinking more about travel than I have about God's kingdom, I've spent more time on Pinterest than I have in the Word, and I've spent a lot more time worrying about my future than I've spent trusting that He will take care of it.

And I want to change that.

I don't want to chase momentary things. I don't want my heart to flutter here and there chasing everything that looks good. Instead, I want to be rooted and planted deeply in Christ.¹ I want my full attention to be on God and what He is doing. And in a world full of distraction, it takes some hard-core, conscious effort to do so.

So for now, I've packed away my world maps and my dreams of travel. I've put them out of my mind. And instead I bring out the word of God. I want to seek His wisdom and not be driven by wanderlust. I want to be driven by the love of God, by the Holy Spirit, by the voice of wisdom, rather than a picture of a palm tree and a warm, sunny beach that looks pleasant.

So this is what I've decided, 

I'm taking up my cross² ... I'm walking committed... I'm saying your will Father, not mine.

And I know that His ways are so much better than my ways, his path so much straighter than my path, and His plan a million times better than my plan. 


1. Ephesians 3:17  2. Matthew 10:38,39