The World Race

I'm going on the World Race Y'all! Its a missions trip for young adults who are willing to give up 11 months of their life to seeking Christ and being used by Him around the world.

For most of my time from here on out, I'll be posting on my World Race blog at:
hilaryhannigan.theworldrace.org

Why I Write. And Why You Should Too.

I didn't grow up a writer. In Junior High and High school, in fact, I sometimes loathed writing. I had a journal but hardly ever wrote in it. And then in high school when we had to free write, I could never think of anything to write at all. l had the world at my disposal and usually ended up writing about soccer practices instead. (Really exciting stuff-- First we ran a few laps for warm up, then we did this one activity, then we did this other one, and oh yeah then we did another one-- I mean,  who wouldn't want to read about that?). 

One problem I had with writing was that I didn't know what to write. And the other problem was that I didn't know how to make what I was writing have any meaning or value.

Fast forward to about three years ago, however, and you would see me filling up an entire journal in a few short months. Something changed, and it was something very basic. Looking back, I realize that what let me write was letting go of what I thought writing should look like. During my two months living  in Guatemala, I realized that different people write differently, and for me, writing was more about processing the experience than documenting the entire thing. Writing a long monologue about the events in a day was too cumbersome and had little value for me. But writing about something I was learning because of that event or jotting down a few of the details was valuable. It gave me physical evidence that what was happening was real without the extra details. Saving that time meant I could begin processing what was going on.

That summer, I wrote a lot. It allowed me to remember everything I was experiencing. It helped me learn and remember the names of those ten beautiful, but seemingly forgotten orphans who captured all of our hearts. It helped me remember the different ministries we worked with. It put into writing the things God spoke to me, and the things my teammates saw in me.

I wrote down the prayers of my heart, the things I was learning and feeling, the names of the children I saw and the elderly women we prayed for. I wrote down lists of my favorite things from the trip and of what I was thankful for. I wrote down the good things I saw in each of my teammates and the bad things we were seeing out in the community each day.

It became more than just a record of what we were doing, but pieced together a story of that entire summer. Looking back at the journal now, a simple list of names conjures an entire day spent at a water park playing with those ten kids. The lyrics of a song remind me of the time we sang in an abandoned church lifting up our voices to God. I didn't need a detailed description of each of these things, but I did need some kind of note to remind me of them. 

For me, writing is valuable because...

- It makes an experience or a feeling more concrete. I am able to pinpoint what I am going through, and in turn, can process the feelings I am having and the memories that will stay with me in the future.  Writing about something allows us to acknowledge that that thing happened and can help us both understand it better and store it as a memory.

- It provides a history of the faithfulness of God. Many pages in my journals are filled with prayers and hopes that at one time seemed so huge. Now looking back at some of those things, I see how they were answered.  

- It helps me understand the world around me. Writing helps me make sense of what I'm feeling. It helps me identify how I might need to change my attitude or grow from any given experience.

In closing of this already-to-long blog...
Maybe you're not a writer. Maybe you don't think you have time for it. Maybe you've tried keeping a journal and it just seemed too mundane or useless. Maybe English was your least favorite subject in school. If this is you, I challenge you to give it another shot. Try writing for just a few minutes. My best advice is to get rid of your expectations of what your writing should look like.

Here are a few things you could try doing to get started---

1. Make a list of what you are thankful for in this moment.
2. Write down a prayer that has been on your heart.
3. List the positives and negatives from your day.
4. Copy down a scripture or quote that has meaning in your life right now.
5. Create a list of what you love.
6. Answer the question "Who am I?"
7.Write about one thing you want to change your attitude about in the upcoming week.

Courage and Patience

My life has seen a lot of change in the last few months. A few weeks ago, I moved out of my house in Adrian to live back home. And with this, came a lot of big transitions. I went from working at the Middle school where I student taught at to a High school where I knew no one. I went from living with two awesome friends to living with my dad, my mom, and my younger brother (... although they're awesome too). And, most traumatic of all, I went from living in the city to living in the country.

During this transition, I was at first very fearful and anxious. I was scared to start a new job. And even more than that, I was scared to move back home. I didn't want to leave the place I had learned to love over the last two years and a place where I felt safe. 

But through this all, God is showing me some things. First of all, He's showing me that He's right here with me. He hasn't left me and he is just as much alive here as he was in Adrian. With this realization, I've found myself less afraid of the unknown and more excited. I'm beginning to not live in defeat but to pray for my days to come. Lately I have been praying for courage and patience to replace any fear and anxiousness. And He is giving me those things.

God is giving me courage to treat the young people I work with with respect and care. Courage to know that just because the last time I called this house my permanent home wasn't the best time of my life, doesn't mean that those experiences will define my time here now. And courage to hope in Him.

Along with this, God is giving me patience as I work with students who have given up on school. Patience as I work with students who are giving up on life. Patience as winter seems never ending. Patience as I wait for the time to come when I'll go on the World Race.

Like I said before, when I first moved back home, I wasn't having it. I wanted to be back in the city I had, to my surprise, began to love. Adrian is a place where my friends are nearby and opportunity seems at hand and, along with this, a place where I could be living on my own again. I wanted my independence back. But I knew in my heart that this place was where I needed to be. The new job is an incredible opportunity for me and really a huge blessing. Along with this, its time for me to take my dream of going on the World Race seriously, and living at home is definitely going to help that out.

As I've given this transition some time and a better attitude, I realize that I'm not in such a bad position after all. There are a lot of opportunities for me here and I'm beginning to see a whole new side to the towns I've known since I was young.

I think this is all just to say that no matter where you are, God is with you. And along with that, He can turn what seems like a bad situation into something good. He can make your fear into courage and your anxiousness into patience.

I encourage you to have courage and patience wherever you are at in life right now. Maybe your in a place right where God wants you and you just need to change your attitude about it. Maybe you need to have patience for the sun to rise as you sit through the dark night. Or maybe you know your not in the right place and you need to take a step of courage to change that. Either way, have courage yet  be patient. Have the courage to try out something new and make a move, but be patient when everything doesn't seem to be falling into place as fast as you wish it would.

Who Am I Anyways?

I read a blog the other day by my amazing friend Abby and it made me think about something-- who am I at the center of me?

What brought this up was a verse from Romans that says "love from the center of who you are" (Romans 12:9 in the Message).

But who am I at the center of me anyways? I mean, I could be identified by countless things.
I'd like to say my identity is, first and foremost, in Christ. I am a daughter of God, an heir of His kingdom. His child, His beloved, His servant. His workmanship.

And these are all very true.

But how I've been acting lately, or rather the thought patterns I've allowed myself to follow lately, have not been in accordance with this identity. Here's the truth: I've been thinking more about travel than I have about God's kingdom, I've spent more time on Pinterest than I have in the Word, and I've spent a lot more time worrying about my future than I've spent trusting that He will take care of it.

And I want to change that.

I don't want to chase momentary things. I don't want my heart to flutter here and there chasing everything that looks good. Instead, I want to be rooted and planted deeply in Christ.¹ I want my full attention to be on God and what He is doing. And in a world full of distraction, it takes some hard-core, conscious effort to do so.

So for now, I've packed away my world maps and my dreams of travel. I've put them out of my mind. And instead I bring out the word of God. I want to seek His wisdom and not be driven by wanderlust. I want to be driven by the love of God, by the Holy Spirit, by the voice of wisdom, rather than a picture of a palm tree and a warm, sunny beach that looks pleasant.

So this is what I've decided, 

I'm taking up my cross² ... I'm walking committed... I'm saying your will Father, not mine.

And I know that His ways are so much better than my ways, his path so much straighter than my path, and His plan a million times better than my plan. 


1. Ephesians 3:17  2. Matthew 10:38,39

"Hinds' Feet on High Places"

I finished reading the book "Hinds' Feet on High Places"  the other day and can't help but to reflect on it and relate it to my own life. It is a pretty easy read that flows in the form of a story, but is full of truth and little nuggets of wisdom and insight. I don't want to give anything away, and highly recommend that you read it for yourself, but here are some of my favorite quotes I noted while I was reading:

"'All the fairest beauties in the human soul, its greatest victories, and its most splendid achievements are always those which no one else knows anything about, or can dimly guess at. Every inner response of the human heart to Love and every conquest over self-love is a new flower on the tree of Love.'" - The Shepherd talking to Much-Afraid (pg. 48).

"'It is always safe to obey my voice, even if it seems to call you to paths which look impossible or even crazy.'"  - The Shepherd (pg. 80). 

"It is the leap which they have to make, the awful height from which they must cast themselves down to the depths, there to be broken on the rocks... It looks as though they think it is the loveliest movement in all the world, as though to cast oneself down is to abandon oneself to ecstasy and joy indescribable.'"  - Much-Afraid talking about the waterfall flowing from the High Places (pg. 161). 

The book is about the journey from the valley to the High Places and the uncertainty in between. Its about learning to love the Shepherd above all else and to follow his path even when it seems illogical and crazy. Its about having the faith to trust him down into the desert when you want to be up on the mountains, or along the foggy path when you can only see three feet in front of you. 

Much-Afraid's journey reminded me of something I had written in my journal a few months ago: We can't dwell on what we'll lose if we follow Christ, only on what we gain. Because we gain so much more than we could create on our own and we'll feel so much more peace than if we reject him. This way of living and loving with Christ as our guide, this way of surrender and pain, beauty and fullness, it is the best thing we could ever decide to be a part of. 

No matter where you're at in your journey, I encourage you to take a moment to look back and think about the things he has brought you through. Remember the miracles, both big and small, that he has already done. And know that as much as Christ has already done, he will do in the future. 

Learning (how) to live

Lately I feel like I've been relearning how to live. Maybe its the fact that I just graduated college, live on my own, and pay (some) of my own bills. Or maybe its the fact that the word I chose for the year includes living more abundantly (I'm still learning what that really looks like). Regardless of why, I'm much more conscious of how my daily decisions decide the quality of life I'm living now. I realize more and more that I have before me small decisions of "life and death, blessings and curses" as the author of Deuteronomy writes.

5 things I'm learning:

1. I'm learning how to feed my mind, my body, and my soul more healthfully--- I'm eating more vegetables, I'm listening to more uplifting music, I'm reading more meaningful books. 

What I'm eating- Peanut-Sesame-Asian Salad with chicken.

What I'm reading- "Hinds' Feet on High Places." An incredible, allegorical book which tells the story of Much-Afraid's journey with the Shepherd (aka. Christ) to the High Places. Much-Afraid begins her journey in the Valley of Humiliation, where she is pestured day and night by her Fears. Once she makes the decision to go with the Shepherd, her journey is a constant choice to remain on the path that the Shepherd reveals to her and to have the courage to continue even when the way seems impassable and impossible. 

What I'm listening to- Rend Collective Experiment's "Campfire" album, Hillsong United "Oceans."

2.  I'm learning to look for beauty in small things--- like the pink and orange sky on my drive to work, or the way my nephew holds my little niece with so much love and care. 

3. I'm learning to enjoy the moments I'm in, even when they're not exactly where I dreamed I would be. 

4. I'm learning to plan for times of rest, to take the sabbath seriously. At church this past Sunday, Pastor CJ talked about how holy the Sabbath is and how relevant it is to us today. One of the scriptures he used is from Genesis 2 which says that "on the seventh day God finished his work ... and he rested," it goes on to say that He blessed that day and made it holy. CJ talked about how the sabbath is a time for us to re-energize and to enjoy and take delight in creation. A time to check out and not work. A time to play. 

5. I'm learning that big dreams require big trust in God. But I know that what He has called me to, he will provide a way. 

So these are just some of the things I am learning and have been learning. I challenge you to evaluate your life, to ponder the path your on, and to listen to the lessons that God is trying to teach you. Because, believe me, they are GOOD lessons, not destructuve ones. And they might just lead you to living more abundantly then you ever thought possible.